Is it okay to be empty?

This was not the essay I expected to write today, particularly when the SoulCircle* theme was Joy. How did I get from joy to empty? Well, in honesty, it was the reverse - read on and I will try to explain.

It all started with these few words from today’s SoulSpark*

An empty day without events,
And that is why it grew immense.

An extract from Priceless Gifts by Anna Swir, translated from the original Polish of Czeslaw Milosz and Leonard Nathan (published in The Poetry of Impermanence, Mindfulness, and Joy, edited by John Brehm).

So often we think of empty as a negative state. Empty suggests a lack of something, a nothingness, a need for refilling. ‘I feel empty’ is a cry for help. Seeing the cup as half-empty over half-full is a sign of pessimism. Empty words lack meaning or sincerity. ‘That bottle’s empty,’ implies the need to either replace or to fill it up again.

Photo by Souro Souvik on Unsplash

But perhaps there is an opportunity when emptiness presents itself. An empty day is a blank canvas – it can be a welcome break in a busy life and a chance to spend time on things you want to do, not those you have to.

When we feel completely empty, we have a choice: what do we want to be filled with? We’re not trying to add our joy on top of sadness. We’re not tainting today’s hope with the remnants of yesterday's disappointment. Rest isn’t unfulfilling, diluted down by lingering stress.

Emptiness is the opposite of overwhelm, a feeling all too many of us experience regularly. Perhaps carving out a little emptiness might be the antidote to today’s non-stop, media-filled, relentless world.

This led me to reflect on something that happened just yesterday. For some time now, I’ve had a problem on my mind – a personal situation that I’m trying to get my head around. My usual methods of processing my thoughts were failing. I had tried to distract myself by being busy but when I stopped, the internal debate was still there. I tried being quiet and still, sitting with uncomfortable feelings to understand them so I could work out how to send them away. Pages and pages of journaling, daily attempts to write out what was on my mind, and I was still stuck in the same loop. I turned to trusted friends, hoping a new perspective might shift my thinking.

Yet nothing seemed to work. The thoughts and worries were still there, influencing my behaviour and making me question and second-guess my own actions.

Until yesterday.

Taking a small pad of pretty little coloured notes, I wrote each of my worries, fears and thoughts on a separate page. Then I screwed them up, threw them into the base of the firepit and set them alight. It was a physical act of emptying myself.

First photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash; Second Author's own

I watched as the paper slowly twisted and curled. I had expected flames to take hold – a cleansing bonfire- but instead there was only the tiniest dot of orange moving along the edges, leaving a black trail in its wake. I thought for a moment they weren’t all going to catch, that some of my words (my most personal, never-to-be-shared words) would remain. But, with smoke drifting up, teasing my nostrils and whispering ‘be patient’, all was eventually rendered to ash.

The remainder of the day can only be described as one of those perfect sunny summer Sundays. I spilled creatively onto the page, my words no longer weighed down by an over-active mind. I lost myself in a book, moving only to switch from sun to shade as the temperature soared. I talked freely with loved ones, no longer doubting my opinions and suggestions. I ended the day huddled under a blanket, head thrown back, surveying the night sky for shooting stars.

And today I awoke light, eager and ready. My morning journaling was productive. I felt I had a direction rather than being stuck in a loop. The problem hasn’t entirely gone away, but it is no longer dominating my every thought.

Yesterday many things aligned and no one single act is responsible for this change in how I feel. However, I cannot overlook the role that emptiness played. An empty heart gave me the will. A physical act of emptying my mind gave me the space. An empty day gave me the opportunity.

Perhaps sometimes we need to be empty. Sometimes the only way to move on or start again is to completely cast out all the prior energy, thoughts and feelings – whether that is over a silly little worry or a major obstacle in your life.

Perhaps empty is not always bad. Perhaps sometimes it is through the emptiness that we will find the joy.

*SoulCircle is a community for writers and dreamers wanting to do more of what they love, lead by

Beth Kempton

. It includes a weekly journal note, starting with a SoulSpark: a little audio clip of Beth reading a couple of poems or short passages to inspire your own writing.